America's Test Kitchen

I read cookbooks like novels. So a few years ago when I bought my first cookbook by America’s Test Kitchen I felt I had found a new love. If you are not familiar with this line of cookbooks (or the TV show) then I’ll give you a bit of a description. Basically, the cooks of America’s Test Kitchen are on a quest to create the best recipe for anything you would eat—from salsas to creme caramel. (And yes, I have made the creme caramel pictured to the left. Oh yea, it's heaven.) They are always dead on. But prefacing each recipe in their books is a description of their journey in creating The Best Recipe. This is where the humor comes in. They don't mince words. These people are the ultimate food snobs. Their descriptions of recipes crack me up! Oh so true, OH-SO-TRUE!

Pasta with Garlic and Oil
“Resist by all means, an urge to pour the contents of a little green cylinder on this dish—it will be forever ruined.”

Pancakes
“Most pancakes are either so tough and rubbery that they snap back and smack you in the face or so cottony and tasteless that they must be accompanied by a very tall glass of milk.”

Tuna Noodle Casserole
“ Is tuna noodle casserole an American institution or a national nightmare? In most cases, the answer is both, no doubt because most versions of this dish are so bad.”

Quick Cinnamon Buns
“It’s a shame that making cinnamon buns at home can try the patience of the most devoted cook……The alternative is to make cinnamon buns from a tube or a box, options that produce interior buns whose flavor lies somewhere between chemicals and cardboard.”

Nachos
“Finding good nachos can be difficult. The worst combine chips that taste like cardboard with squirts of unnaturally fluid ‘cheese’ and watery jarred salsa. If you're lucky, a miniscule portion of guacamole is served on the side.”

Fried Chicken
“Who wants to bite through a crisp, rich, seasoned crust only to hit dry, white Styrofoam?

Lest you think their scathing reviews are confined to recipes, they also rates products:

Trader Joe’s Free Range Chicken Broth
“Tasters couldn’t make up their mind whether this broth tastes ‘more like bad Chinese soup’ or ‘the cardboard container it comes in’. The wretched odor earned it no extra points.”

Brownie Mix
“We came away with only one boxed brownie mix to halfheartedly recommend: Ghirardelli Double Chocolate Brownie Mix. No one loved these brownies, but they had a decent amount of chocolate flavor and were the least offensive of the bunch.
Betty Crocker Traditional Chewy Fudge Brownie Mix: "Artificial;" "like chewing on a chocolate chamois."